“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise”

Robert Fritz

Choosing only things that seem reasonable or possible ... one can live a lifetime doing that ... A "secure", "reasonable" and "possible" life.

But Fritz puts his finger on the wound when he talk about "what you truly want" ... what we really crave is often not the most logical, other times it is absolutely insane to most people and it may not exist.

The only thing which is worth, in determined moment, is what we desire, what we want, what connects us with our values, with the wishes, what motivates us.

The issue is that if we choose to follow the known path, it is possible that we ignore that possibility that does not even have a real form, but that makes the heart beat and illuminates the soul.

.Brace up to travel uncharted paths is a matter, says Fritz, of commitment with oneself. What space leave we in our choices for what we really want? How many of the things we choose are connected with what we feel?

Until next time,
Andrea

"The complaint is the best spider"

This phrase struck me as very vivid. I figured the complaint as a spider weaving laboriously her web ... Until she catches and wraps us. Until traps and envelops those who hear our complaints.

The complaint is a way to put a necessity into words.. Of course it is not always the most clearly form to express that need.

The complaint is a way to comment our feelings. However, it is rare the time that listeners discover the sentiments behind the complaint.

The complaint is a communication strategy. A limited communication strategy ...

With the complaint we are trying to reach others. But only reach them the tone, the pace and intent, and they lost the confuse content.

Next time you are going to complain, analyze what are you actually needing, and ask it clearly.

Instead of making a complaint, try to make a claim. A claim consists of the expression of a clear need plus a clear petition. I need this, I ask this. It has the mark of that who knows what he wants, recognizes that needs something and sees in the other the ability to fix it.

The claim does not have the stickiness of the complaint and is much more effective.

Until Next Time!
Andrea

Do not curse the darkness, just light a candle. Proverb

There are dark moments, sad, lonely, violent, crude, agonizing, endlessly bitter ... all require time to go by , force to support them ... and some of them the capability to recognize that help is needed to transit.

The most dangerous trap that entailing these moments is lock oneself in contemplation and verbal description of the situation. To explain, describe, complain, argue, rationalize, again and again are logical actions in the first stage, but if they maintain over time, tie the problem.

Asking for help, perform a task, connect with a project, partake of a group, return to work, are steps toward the exit. At the beginning they will be anxious and hesitant, but then they go getting sure.

Lighting a candle does not imply deny the situation, but illuminate the path to go through it.

Until soon
Andrea

"There is not nostalgia worse than longing for what never happened"

Joaquín Sabina

Of course, because it is like tying up the long to the vastness of the imagination.

What did not happen… how could have been? What wonderful things could generate? To where had lead us ?

If it not was, and we chose to long for it with nostalgia, we will connect with a feeling of having lost everything that we could have achieved. It is the path of despair.

The other path is that of acceptance.. It was not, and no longer can be. And it might not be magic because it was not. It is the way of leaving behind, of forcing ahead, of connecting with what it can be.

The election of one or the other way relies on upon oneself.

The nostalgia, and also the acceptance are based on judgments. In the opinions that we built on what it was and what it was not.

They are also based on power, the power we give to things that were not to be present and the power we adjudicate us to change things.

And they are developed from the role we choose to play in the lives of victims or protagonists.

Very good weekend!
Andrea

“The facts have their own distinct accent in each language"
Wieslaw Brudzinsky

One of the concepts that I would draw from this phrase is the difference between facts and narration (which is said to describe, opinions that are issued, the sense that is generated) of the facts. One thing is verifiable (she is 1.62) and is unique, while judgments and opinions vary according to who delivers them (tall, short, which is less elegant, she seems ...)

Do you ever has gone to live exactly the same situation with a brother or someone very related, and by the time they tell their story, it seems that everyone has experienced something different?

This is because each one comments the story from what it is, what he lived and lives, which perceives, which chooses.

Therefore it is important to recognize that while we are talking about the same, we may be saying different things ... Give the other the possibility of having lived a different experience ... discover the facts in common, besides the different stories ...

Until soon!
Andrea

“The things are to your caprice, according to where you put the eyes…”

Verse of an infantile song

This phrase reminded me the surprise that it caused to me, long time ago, to return to enter running to the little larder, at the backyard of my grandmother’s house, and to discover that I couldn’t pass through the door… I had grown… was much tall (I pardon already the smiles that are escaping from those who know me) but my perception of the height of the door had remained in my 8 years…

Sometimes it passes this to us with the things that we see day after day. Seeing them a lot, it seems as if we lost the capacity to perceive them… Everything seems always the same, it shines equal, it smells equal, it passes at the same rhythm… day after day. We put ourselves like in a transporting tape, and we move in automatic, without seeing…

Do you remember the scene of the film “The Dead Poets Society ” in which Robin Williams (wonderfully put in the skin of John Keating) tries to cause their students begin to see the life of another form?

In order to obtain that, he hardly begins with a small movement… to request to them that they stand up in his writing desks… They are the same students, the same writing desks. It is the same classroom to that they concur every day, day after day. But it seems that the fact to rise 75cm of the ground can offer a vision completely different of the world…

I am not proposing that you begin to ascend to the tables or the chairs… but… what so if you take another way to go to the work, if you change the place of some furniture, if you modify your place of lunch… if you smile to people in the street, if you walk instead of taking the bus… if you leave the metro a station before to buy flowers… if you change a little your routine…

I believe that you would be surprised discovering the that a small change can make you see different the things … But the greater difference of all, is that you will realize that you have the power to change … you will feel that you can be protagonist…that you can modify the routine, that you are able to see the things otherwise… that you see… what you haven’t seen before…

Have a good weekend!

Andrea

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

We all have dreams, plans, or simply wishes to accomplish something.

Many of them are running around in our minds ... stagnate while waiting for a propitious moment, a partner to do it, a reality more generous, funds to solve it, a public who admire, someone who authorized, sufficient time, a proper space ...

“They never come true ... and what is worse, become part of this little voice inside that repeat from time to time "if only I had ..." , or they dress up of resignation and why not of anger, when we see others doing what we have thought out.

No matter if it is a huge dream, as save all the whales, write the best novel, sail around the world ... if it is concrete and real: "ask for a space at the local Club to build a library for the kids", "learning Spanish" ... Or even it has no form and is only as "I always wanted to learn to dance”...

It starts with simply encouraging and taking the first small step. It can be done now!

Until soon,

Andrea

PS. If you wish to receive the list 10 ways to start something, send me an e-mail.